Why You Should Give Up The Superwoman Myth
Could everyone do me a favor?Could we collectively ditch the entire notion of a "Superwoman"?
For one thing, the idea doesn't have a consistent meaning among people. What is admired by one is disdained by another. What prompts awe in one person strikes someone else as sad.
For instance, I was in one environment where work friends were talking about a woman who has "everything going on," a Superwoman of Corporate America. They described a person at the top of her game professionally, thriving because she dedicated 80 hours a week to her job. In that case, "everything" must not have included a social life, but she was "leaning in" to the career with all she had.
In another instance, I overhead a conversation about a Superwoman in the mom world who had pulled off themost precious birthday part for her 3-year-old "EVER"!!!!! (I could hear the exclamation points!!!!) and the circle of friends discussed how they could ever make their children happy with less.
In both of those cases, and many like them, I noticed an air of comparison that reeked of dysfunction and insecurity. In my effort to listen quickly and say less, I didn't interject. However, I made a note to myself to combat this mentality whenever I find it. I tried to think of why projecting "they have it all together" is damaging and came up with at least four substantial reasons (there are, undoubtedly, many more):
1) Superwomen aren't real
No one has it all together. Period. End of story. Everyone struggles, hurts, and bears life's battle wounds. If you project super powers onto someone, you might miss their pain and, subsequently, the opportunity to help.
2) Comparison is deadly
When you evaluate even a smidgen of your worth (as a mom, colleague, wife, friend, or fashionista) next to someone else, you've automatically set yourself up for failure. You either "win" and take pride in winning or "lose" and feel inadequate. Neither side of the comparison coin is good.
3) Competitiveness grows
The seeds of comparison often grow into competitions, and competitive people are exhausted. Aren't you tired enough? : )
4) You miss your purpose
God has made a world of infinite variety and that includes making a differentiated you. The point of you isn't about being everything - it's about being exactly, precisely, you. The risk of being all things, aside from never hitting the goal, is that you end up being nothing!
But how, precisely, do you get away from this model? How do you stop noticing that half the world seems more buttoned up (and the other half seems like more of a mess)?
Glad you asked; that will be tomorrow's topic.
Until then, don't imagine any woman wearing a cape!