Talk to your kids

“Mom – do you remember the color of your throw-up the first time it ever happened to you?” “Um. No.” “Well, I remember mine!”

Thus began a conversation with my 8-year-old son.

I’ll spare you the particulars of the exchange.  However, what followed was a five minute monologue where my boy detailed when he had been sick, the color of his vomit, and his guess about the contents of his stomach during said sickness.

I couldn’t have been less interested.

As I was about to shut him down, I remembered our goal of  staying interested in whatever interests the kids.

Did that have to include a blow by blow about vomiting episodes?  Really??

And yet, since my son isn’t a chatty kid, I decided to listen and interact with his story.  Trust me, the details got worse before they got better.  However, eventually, through a long series of twists and turns, we ended up on the topic of best friends.

At that point, I was able to have a brief conversation about why it’s important to make good decisions when choosing your friends.  We talked about acceptance and making smart choices.  Granted, my nugget of wisdom wasn’t a defining moment for my son.  However, I was able to plant a seed.  Hopefully with enough seeds planted, my influence will germinate into something lasting.

The starting point for our connection wasn’t where I would have imagined it to be. Still, the lesson was to show up and meet my kids with whatever interests them; to talk to them about whatever, whenever.

What is important is just talking.

(For research on this topic, check out the book "Meaningful Differences" by Betty Hart and Todd R. Risley)